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Peachka Knocked Your Deer Over

I know my husband isn’t the only one with an imaginary friend.  Even if you’re over the age of 3, it isn’t unusual for some of you to have an imaginary friend.  If strange things happen around your house, like they do ours, you too probably have an imaginary friend.

Our imaginary friend is a female named Peachka and has lived with us since the day I moved in with my hunter…

Jody:  Mark, I can’t find my keys.

Mark:  Maybe Peachka took them.

——————–

Jody:  Why is there a penny in the bathtub? You got undressed in the bedroom.  WT? Ewww.

Mark:  It’s probably Peachkas.

——————–

Jody: Who ate all my cupcakes and put the empty box back in the cabinet.

Mark:  It wasn’t me.

Jody:  There are two of us that live here.  Me and you.

Mark:  It was probably Peachka.  I noticed she’s gaining a bit of weight?

——————–

Jody suffering from 29 year old hot flashes:  Umm Mark, did you turn the heat up again?

Mark: No.

Jody:  Well it’s on 72 and I had it on 66.  This isn’t Florida.  If you want to walk around the house in a t-shirt move south.

Mark:  I didn’t touch the heat. I’m not kidding.

Jody:  Today is not the day Mark.

Mark:  It wasn’t me.

Jody:  Oh .. I suppose Peachka did. Go ahead say it.

——————–

My hot flash took over…

Tonight when I get home, there better be a place setting for Peachka.

When we go shopping at Cabelas this weekend, you need to sit in the back seat ’cause Peachka is sitting in the front seat with me.  And when I’m having a conversation with Peachka at Cabelas, everyone will be staring at you.

Oh and tonight … make sure you sleep in the guest bedroom ’cause that’s where Peachka sleeps.

Have a good day all … I have to go pick up a deer head and glue it’s 20 point horns back on.  Peachka knocked it off the damn wall and I swear it wasn’t me.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

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Critter Decor and Stacey Huston Photo Giveaway

Would you look at these cute little critters…

They are about to go on my wall just as soon as I find the perfect frames. I found this photo at Stacey Huston’s photography site, Stacey Huston’s Photos, and thought it was the perfect picture for my dining room wall.

Because … well … we decorate with critters around here.

What was nice about working with Stacey is that the original picture is the one on the left.  I asked Stacey if I could get the same picture; one facing left and one facing right.  And with a click of a flip, I was able to get two adorable critter pictures.

And I’d like to mention that I took the above picture myself.  (Note: the flash shine there in the center.) Yes, I need a photography class.  You will never see my pictures on the cover of any outdoor magazine like Staceys.

On to the giveaway:

Stacey is offering one of my readers the chance to win one of these beautiful photos…

This one she called Willows

And this one she didn’t have a name on it.  Darn her.  If I knew my critters, I could tell you these are bull elks or cow elks or horse elks.  But I don’t know my critters. For the love of a critter identification class, I’m not sure those are even elk.

If you’d prefer one of the chipmunk pictures instead, we can make that happen.

To enter answer the following question:

Do you have a critter room in your house?

Maybe it’s your basement, or your gun room, or your library, or critters have taken over your house in all rooms, like mine. For the love of bathroom privacy.

• The winner will be selected randomly and the contest will run from today, December 7, 2009 – Thursday, December 10, 2009. The winner will be announced on Friday, December 11, 2009. An e-mail notification will be sent and the winner must claim their prize within 48 hours or a new winner will be selected. US residents only please.

If you’d like to see more of Stacey’s photography, you can visit at – A Focus in the Wild – Photo a day project. Or Stacey Huston’s Photos page.

And if you’re looking for a unique gift for the outdoors person on your gift list, Stacey’s wildlife photography is absolutely beautiful!

Thanks Stacey and good luck all!

This post is sponsored by Stacey Huston.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

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Dead Bag Buck & A Grass Kisser

Just another ordinary day at the house of a deer hunter:

Time: 5:00 am – in a dark house.

Mark: Jody can you come in here please.
Jody: Where are you?
Mark: In the kitchen.

I turned the corner, flipped on the kitchen light and there it sat.

And it scared the bejeebies out of me.

My husband’s friend’s buck.

And thank goodness I’m not the cook around here because I’d have an attack if I saw that in my freezer.

In the 2 years I’ve been running this outdoor blog, the input here is 100% mine.  But for some odd reason my husband thought he needed to dictate Larry’s story to me.

And I quote:

Larry scored this 3 1/2 year old 8 pointer on his property out of a tree stand on opening day of shot gun. He weighed out at 186 lbs and will be sent to Critter’s Taxidermy in Winamac, Indiana where John Ingram has mounted several heads for me. (My husband)

Yes dear readers, my husband obviously has no clue I run a humorous outdoor blog. He thinks he might get away with being all serious as to how, when, and where this buck was harvested.

It doesn’t matter how good a friend Larry is, neither one of them are getting away with some serious buck story on my outdoor site.  You will never hear me say, “Damn, that’s a nice buck”.

Because I don’t talk like that.

That would be over my dead … 6 point fake buck.

And I think mine weighed 186.5 lbs.

And mine still has his little legs.

Wooo wait a minute … what is wrong with me!

For the love of grass clippings.  Larry owns Meier’s Landscaping & Lawn Service and is in charge of my yard while my hunter is away hunting and I’m busy watching my love movies eating pizza with my feet up.

“Damn!!! That’s a nice buck!”

Have a good day all  … Luv,  The GR Ass Kisser.

If you’re in the Winamac, Indiana area and are looking for a taxidermist, you can call John Ingram at 1-574-946-6857.

If you’re in the Northwest Indiana area and need any lawn or landscaping work done, you can call Larry Meier at 1-219-989-9070.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

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Muck Boots Get a Thumbs Up!

I wanted to take a second to write a quick review about the Muck Boots I got from Hanks Clothing. I ordered the Muck Woody Max Cold Conditions Hunting Boot, and from the first time I put them on I knew that they were going to become my “old reliable” pair of boots. They were durable, good looking and best of all, they fit and were comfortable. They’re not going to work for chasing elk around, but for pretty much everything else I can’t think of a better “fit”. I’ve had slip on boots before and they were great for quick chores around the house, but not much else. That’s not the case with my new Muck Boots. They’re good for both work and play. I do wish I had gotten them 1/2 size smaller though because there was a tiny bit of slip. That would be my only advice for somebody buying a pair. I solved that problem be just wearing an extra pair of thin socks. No big deal and I usually wear two pairs anyway for just that reason.

The first chance I got to wear them was on a recent pheasant hunting trip to South Dakota. I was surprised at how comfortable they were when I wore them all day. I was hunting with Dave Olsen from Pheasant Phun and I noticed he was wearing a pair of Muck Boots as well. I asked him about them and he gave me a rave review and told me that he had been hunting in his pair for four years and they’re still going strong.

Here in Idaho, my favorite place to pheasant hunt is a cattail slough below my house. This place is thick, muddy, nasty and tough on boots. The biggest problem is the muck. It just sucks the boots right off of your feet. I thought that Muck Boots would be the same way, especially since they are slip-ons, but I was wrong. I’ve tromped all through that swamp all season and my socks come home white every time. The pheasants sure aren’t happy about it though.

I’m looking forward to wearing them goose hunting this winter. I’ve always struggled with the right kind of boot for hunting in the fields. I have a good pair of leather boots that keep my feet warm, but they’re not the best in the mud and slop. I think my Muck Boots are going to be just what the doctor ordered for goose hunting. Warm and dry.

I don’t do a lot of tree-stand hunting, I’m mostly a spot-and-stalk type of guy, but I think that this is what most people would use them for and I’m sure that they would be great for that. As soon as I get a chance to try that out, I’ll let you know. In the mean time, all I know is that I’m going to have a lot of fun trying to wear them out.

See the original article at GotHunts.com

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The Looney Bin – Haircuts and Colts

My husband Mark and I did something yesterday we haven’t done in awhile together – visit our parents.  Our first stop was his Moms.  She just had surgery on her knee a couple of weeks ago and can’t get around much.  She mentioned she hadn’t had a haircut in a couple of months so my husband volunteered to trim her hair.

Jody:  What?

Mark:  I trim my hair all the time.

Mother-in-law:  You sure you can cut my hair Markie?

(Jody thinking:  OMG. PLEASE. NO.)

Jody:  Maybe we can call her hairdresser to come to the house.

Mark:  I can cut it.

(Jody thinking:  Oh Mother-in-law, you don’t let your son cut your hair. I’m trying to save you.  I know it’s your pain pills.)

Jody:  I’m sure her hair girl will come to the house. MARKIE.

Mark:  I can handle it.

Mother-in-law:  Just a little around the ears Markie.

Jody:  But…

(Jody thinking: Oh heavens. Wonder if there’s a bottle of vodka hid down stairs?)

My husband cut her hair and then I gave her a good shampooing.  It actually turned out alright.  Well, until her real hair dresser asks, “Who cut your hair last Marilyn?”

On to my parents house.  My Dad was diagnosed with throat cancer 8 months ago and is still having a few issues.  Because of some swelling he needs to write what he wants to say. After a few notes back and forth with my husband Mark, I took the notepad to see what my Dad had to say earlier in the day.  Maybe he was having a good day and wrote love notes to my Mom.

But … well … is this what happens after being married 50 years?

Umm yea.  The meatloaf was good but the squirrels are as fat as her.  And the birds.

WT?

I need a cupcake.

I’m going to blame it on the pain pills.

P.S. – The spelling?  My Dad use to do the newspaper crossword puzzles daily until he got sick.  Instead, he has found his entertainment walking around the house with his gun holster on and his Colt in it.

P.S.S. – For those of you that don’t own a gun … his Colt is NOT a horse, it’s a gun.  I thought he finally bought that lil pony I always wanted.

Have a good day all … my Mom and I are off to the gym right after I eat a few checkers.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

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Thanksgiving Family Rules 2009

Thanksgiving Family Rules…

1. Shoes off please. So be sure to wear socks without holes.
2. No reaching around me to just have a “pinch” of something. It’s rude and I didn’t see you wash your hands. Nor does it end up being a pinch. It normally ends up being a whole serving.
3. If your Mom didn’t come because she’s mad at me again, I hope you brought her taco salad. If not, someone will take you home to get it. Be sure to tell your Mom you will be forced to take the first bite.
4. Don’t blame me if the mashed potatoes are a bit lumpy. “Mad sister” in charge of mashing potatoes didn’t show. Blame her.
5. To my other sister – It’s not alright to sing, “Taco, burrito, what you got hanging out your speedo” in front of kids.
6. Can we go one holiday without crying? Thanks. You know who you are.
7. Please bring a sweater. If you tell me it’s cold I will tell you this – while you slept in today in your nice warm bed and all you had to do was bring chips and pop, I was here breaking a sweat cooking your 10 course meal.
8. My dog is not a cat. Please don’t throw him across the room thinking he’s a cat.
9. Yes my hair is a bit darker since the last time you saw me. The winter weather makes it that way.
10. If you kick, bite or pull my dogs hair, I will do the same to you. And if my dog, who never bites, bites, it’s your fault.
11. There is no running around the house. If your kid slips and falls on the hard wood floor, I’m sorry. Your kids shouldn’t be running around the house.
12. Isn’t it polite to bring the host a gift? I’ve been cooking for you people for almost 20 years.
13. Jer (my sister) if you slip and fall on the hard wood floor, I’m sorry but we’ll laugh. Oh and if by accident you somehow fall down the basement stairs again, for the love of depends, bring some clean underwear.
14. And Mark, it’s not alright to say you are going to the bathroom and sneak off to bed. Not only can we hear you snoring but that trick is getting old.
15. Please make sure your kids do not drink out of my cup. That’s all that needs to be said.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving all!!!

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

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Homebuyer tax credit extended and expanded!!!

“The legislation also would extend the $8,000 homebuyer tax credit to contracts signed by April 30 and closed by June 30. The controversial credit, which many say has boosted home sales in recent months, was set to expire after Nov. 30.

The bill also creates a $6,500 credit for those who buy a home after living in their current house at least five years. That measure would apply to contracts signed by April 30 and closed by June 30. The current credit defines a first-time homebuyer as someone who has not owned a residence within the past three years.”  Read entire article.

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